The Perfect Road Trip?

In honor of this great country's birthday (happy 2,015th, America!) I thought it would be appropriate to share with you a fantastic way to visit it all in one asphalt-covered trip! According to scientists and people with way more time on their hands than myself, there is such thing as the "perfect" road trip. One that takes you across each contiguous state without leaving the country or making you drive through Idaho for more than 500 miles. It looks a little something like this:

Although if I had my way, I would include poor Hawaii and Alaska. We didn't fight the British Crown just to have 48 states!

Hope you don't have anything planned for the next 2-3 months!

You're probably wondering what all those little destination pins represent. Well, wonder no longer! I have for you the list!

1. Grand Canyon, AZ
2. Bryce Canyon National Park, UT
3. Craters of the Moon National Monument, ID (Bring sunscreen and something else to do.)
4. Yellowstone National Park, WY  (Warning: Do not goad the bison.)
5. Pikes Peak, CO
6. Carlsbad Caverns National Park, NM
7. The Alamo, TX
8. The Platt Historic District, OK
9. Toltec Mounds, AR
10. Elvis Presley’s Graceland, TN 
11. Vicksburg National Military Park, MS
12. French Quarter, New Orleans, LA
13. USS Alabama, AL  (Weird name.)
14. Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, FL
15. Okefenokee Swamp Park, GA  (Completely normal name. "Ned Flanders, let's go to Georgia!" "Okefenokee, neighboreeno!")
16. Fort Sumter National Monument, SC
17. Lost World Caverns, WV
18. Wright Brothers National Memorial Visitor Center, NC
19. Mount Vernon, VA
20. White House, Washington, DC  (Shut up, Washington, DC. You're not a state!)
21. Colonial Annapolis Historic District, MD
22. New Castle Historic District, Delaware
23. Cape May Historic District, NJ
24. Liberty Bell, PA
25. Statue of Liberty, NY
26. The Mark Twain House & Museum, CT
27. The Breakers, RI
28. USS Constitution, MA
29. Acadia National Park, ME
30. Mount Washington Hotel, NH
31. Shelburne Farms, VT
32. Fox Theater, Detroit, MI
33. Spring Grove Cemetery, OH
34. Mammoth Cave National Park, KY
35. West Baden Springs Hotel, IN (But just the hotel.)
36. Abraham Lincoln’s Home, IL
37. Gateway Arch, MO
38. C. W. Parker Carousel Museum, KS
39. Terrace Hill Governor’s Mansion, IA
40. Taliesin, WI
41. Fort Snelling, MN
42. Ashfall Fossil Bed, NE
43. Mount Rushmore, SD  (Take lots of pictures and don't expose the film while driving through the Badlands! Hah...you're welcome for that glimpse into my idiotic, blunder-filled childhood.)
44. Fort Union Trading Post, ND
45. Glacier National Park, MT (See warning for YNP)
46. Hanford Site, WA
47. Columbia River Highway, OR (If it's not raining.)
48. San Francisco Cable Cars, CA (Really? Cable Cars? These scientists ARE aware that there's also a Golden Gate Bridge in this city, right? Well, I guess they are smarter than me...)
49. San Andreas Fault, CA  (That earthquake was all San Andrea's fault!)
50. Hoover Dam, NV

How many of these national treasures have YOU seen? If your number is between 0 and 9, hop in that car of yours and go see that beautiful country of ours! If your number is between 10 and 29, not bad, not bad, but I think you can do better. If your number is between 30 and 49, you're almost there! Call in to work tomorrow and explore this fantastic land of the free and home of the brave! If your number is 50...well la-dee-frickin-da! You want a medal or something?!