Ermahgerd! Blerg!: 2015: A Year

Today I reflect back on the last 365 days and wonder "How did I end up in this tiny, cold, mold-infested apartment?" Then I remember, "Oh yeah I moved here."

For your reading pleasure, I give you my 2015 in review. Because you really care.

The year kicked off with a work party designed exclusively to dog on Wal-Mart. It was a mandatory meeting that started at 6:00 in the morning in which big company executives (i.e. the Vice President pictured speaking here) flew into town to speak to us for the sole purpose of rallying us against Wal-Mart. Basically we got paid to hear crap we already knew. And there was free donuts and coffee!

Check out this lady playing on her phone not paying attention. Who are you sexting at 6:00 in the morning? Wal-Mart?? Go work there then!

Not pictured: my exhausted ass who got 1.3 minutes of sleep the night before. Who do you think cleared out all those fixtures and set up the chairs??

Segue into the next most thrilling piece of my year: watching the Super Bowl. Who was I to root for? The overrated cheating Patriots who win every damn year? Or the shining Seahawks who are the closest thing to an NFL team Idaho will ever have?

I picked the Patriots because fuck the Seahawks.

Also if I hadn't picked the Patriots I would've joined the masses of disappointed, enraged, suicidal fans who were subjected to the heart-wrenching final minute of the game.

But instead, I was the one laughing. Good game, Hawks! I guess the bright side is your bandwagon is a little lighter now.

Then I created an Instagram account. Don't look for it.

Then in March, the day came where I officially completed my coursework for an online certificate from a community college. I received the degree through text message and graduated while sitting on the couch watching The People's Court. Just like in the commercials. Except I didn't have three kids hanging off me asking when dinner was while projectile pooping.

Later in March, my company thanked me for seriously pursuing higher education to better understand and benefit the corporation by not promoting me and instead shipping me off to the shit hole Nampa store, telling me it was "temporary" and then leaving me there for my soul to die.

There I met many charming characters including crack heads, meth heads, heroine heads, gang bangers, gang banger heads, McDonalds employees (aka recovering crack heads) ass heads, shit heads, illegal immigrant heads, and that one guy. There we launched into a remodel that tested the patience and mental stability of all the heads.

Here's a brief photo album of my Nampa excursion.